Monday, July 2, 2012

Katy Perry Will NOT Play Freddie Mercury's Queen

The rumor-mill has excreted a smelly poo once again!
We hummed with excited electricity upon hearing whispers that Katy Perry would star as Freddie Mercury's girlfriend Mary Austen, in Sacha Baron Cohen's Queen biopic…
But no such luck! In fact, Kaypers hasn't even been offered the part!
Our favorite burst of sparkly light recently revealed:
"There's something about the internet that's sort of funny—it's that nothing is true on there… There's been no formal offer, although I do like the association and I like the company because I think Sacha Baron Cohen is hilarious… [but] I have to take a catnap first before I do anything."
Damn you, grapevine! Stop producing such rancid rumors!
The part would have been PERFECT for the eclectic ball of hearts that is Katy Kat… even though she would have to trade her lush, purple locks for a bright blonde, blunt cut

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